An office setting is a sitcom, and that’s what makes all the insufferable long hours bearable. People who work in the same company share a bond that only a therapist would understand. All of you share takeaways, gossip, your hate for your boss, the daily struggles and the goal of eventually quitting your jobs – because who doesn’t? In a way or another, you’re a cult, and even though you eventually go your separate ways, you’ll always harness a tie and the connotations to a chapter in your life that you’re gladly over with. So, set back, relax and relate.
Oh no, not again!
Fridays are the most generously loved and appreciated holiday around the world. It’s loved by all, and hated by none. Everything changes on Fridays. You’re finally ready to take a good grip on your life. Alas, you’re free to do whatever you want! You can now finally take a good bath, clean your entire house, and deep clean your closet. You’re finally going to work out, chill in bed, start that book that has been sitting on your shelf, and not be bothered by the morning alarm. But sadly, our lives automatically jump to Sunday night, and it’s time to go to work again.
Me: I think I was a happier version of myself before I worked here *sobs*
Work is traumatizing on so many levels. If we look closely at the details of a day in the life of someone who has a full-time job, we’d be horrified. Did you know that fear of alarms is actually a thing? People actually develop a legit phobia from alarms. Phonophobia is real and we didn’t sign up for this crap! And of course, all of us know the sweet-sweet lie in bed in the morning, it shortens the workday and everything is better this way. We do pay for this later, and maybe get scolded for it, but what the hell, rebellion does lead people somewhere, right?
Sure! I will do it because I can’t afford losing my job, and subsequently, my life
Work is also confusing. People who do work hard, and care about efficiency, are often swamped with work, while others are busy thinking about what to order for brunch. Managers throw this amazing spell on their productive team member, and they start to gradually lose their passion. But hooray! At least the work is getting done, and the company is earning more money than I’ll ever have! I knew I should have started my own pyramid scheme!
How is “can work under pressure” slogan working for you now?
Of course, the never-ending dilemma of never knowing what your boss actually wants to get done first. Managers have a fishy memory when it comes to telling you what to do. Once you get started on something, and actually make progress, they end up scolding you for not doing that other thing they briefly mentioned first. But after a while, you grow a thick skin and turn into a circus performer who jumps from one thing to another in seconds. Come to think of it, with that skill, we might actually be able to survive an apocalypse.
I could tell them my grandma died, take a taxi, head to the airport, and never come back.
We spend around 160 hours at work on monthly basis, and while we’re working, life happens to happen. The ability to separate between your personal life and you work is almost impossible. If you’re someone who works full-time, all the time, you probably got dumped and had to wake up the next day and actually go to work. The bathroom is a safe zone for us to zone out, cry and contemplate life.
Now I have to go home and do it all over again
By the end of the work week, one needs to cocoon in a tent made of blankets with a big bowl of goodies. And a rule should be made about not talking about work at all starting Friday nights. Whatever happens, there is nothing that a joint or a glass of wine can’t fix!
Work can be hard, but there are things that happen everyday that makes everything better. For instance:
You always have a place to go
You can have mukbangs everyday with your colleagues
You can always have someone to vent to at the office
You can be distracted from your own problems, but having empathy for others!
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