When Your Girlfriend is Always Jealous

Having a jealous girlfriend is the worst. At first, it’s an endearing display of affection, but soon quickly spirals out of control and becomes imprisonment in a gilded cage. What once began as a comforting relationship with a protective, loving puppy suddenly transforms into life in a police state under the constant surveillance of a tenacious, drug-sniffing K-9 unit.

However, from the girlfriend’s point of view, she always sees the boyfriend as the dog. Hanging out with female friends without supervision is a deliberate act of treason, possessing certain text messages are felony offenses, and looking at another woman can cost you an eye. The jealous girlfriend slowly sneaks a collar around their boyfriend’s neck and the slightest perceived disobedience lands them in the doghouse.

Everyday, life is like navigating a minefield with a woman that can blow up even if there is no mine underfoot. Danger lurks around every social gathering. A smile from a friendly waitress, a glance from female passerby, or an innocuous comment can lead to a death sentence. No hot shot lawyer, charismatic guru, or greasy politician can talk his way out of her allegations. A jealous girlfriend decides that he is hers alone. Her boyfriend lives out the relationship as a hostage, but maybe he’ll get lucky and develop Stockholm syndrome.

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Head of Saturday Humor

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